Here’s a typical couple’s lament: “We just see things differently.” That’s certainly true for many couples, but I see a deeper problem that undermines many relationships today. And it won’t be fixed by any of the marriage education, relationship improvement or sexual enhancement programs out there. That is, often the problem isn’t that you and your partner see things differently; but rather, that you see different things.
Facing what that means can be painful. It may even feel relationship-threatening. But doing so can open the door to strengthening the true foundation of your relationship: Your vision of life. That refers to what you’re really living and working for, both individually and as a couple.
That’s the fundamental core of a relationship, and it’s often overlooked or seldom discussed. When you do face it you may discover that you and your partner were never in synch about your vision of life. Or, that you may have gone off on different tracks over time. When either is the case, you end up seeing different things altogether.
That’s a crucial problem because your core vision of life will increasingly impact your long-term health and well-being in today’s world, whether you’re in a relationship or not. We’re now living in a totally interconnected, unpredictable, “non-equilibrium” world. My 35 years as a psychotherapist and business psychologist convinces me that our new era requires a new and revised picture of psychological health and positive resiliency — what it looks like and what helps build it – to support your outward success and internal well-being in the years ahead. Read more…
Midlife Conflict and Renewal, Modern Love, Sex & Relationships, Psychological health in a post-globalized world
adult love, decline of romance, flaws in love relationships, marriage conflicts, midlife, psychological health, purpose, resilience, sexual conflicts, sexual connection, soul mate
Some readers have asked me to explain why I have a category labeled “Work and Career ’4.0.’” Fair enough: A few of these blog posts are tagged that way, but I haven’t described what I mean by that designation.
What I call 4.0 is a shorthand way of describing a new evolution I see in people’s attitudes, behavior and desires about their work and career. Think of 1.0” as more of a survival orientation to work. It’s how people think about and engage in their work when they’re in situations of extreme hardship, political upheaval, or within socio-economic conditions that limit their opportunity and choices. That probably describes the situation for the masses of people throughout most of history, and of course it exists today. In such situations, just earning enough of a living to survive and support yourself and your family is your target, your criteria of “success.” Today, the conflicts that people experience within version 1.0 often concern working conditions, discrimination and limited opportunities for getting onto a career path that can lead to something better.
Version 2.0 emerged with the political and economic environments that gave rise to the modern “career”; that is, mostly within increasingly large, bureaucratic organizations from about the late 1800s into the early 20th Century. Those organizations required layers of management and administration – white-collar jobs. Advancement became possible along a defined path, and was available to people who could gain a foothold within it, usually because of educational opportunities and/or social class advantages they were born into. Seeking recognition, power, status, and material perks from steady advancement define success with Version 2.0. It still predominates within today’s career culture. It’s where you find the conditions that generate, for example, work-life conflict, boredom, workplace bullying, hostile management practices, and subtle racial and gender barriers to moving up.
Version 3.0 arose just in the last few decades. It reflects Read more…
Psychological health in a post-globalized world, Work & Career "4.0"
careers, globalization, interconnection, purpose, social impact
Great Nicholas Kristof piece in NYT about Scott Harrison’s Charity: Water http://bit.ly/yfRgm
I interviewed Scott for an article I wrote in the Washington Post in 2007 and was impressed with his ability to put his business and media savvy and talents in the service of addressing a humanitarian problem.
Even more impressive and significant is his personal story arc: From an awakening out of a self-centered life; which led to an unexpected, almost serendipity experience; which led, in turn, to creating a successful venture — one that’s having tremendous impact on people who are deprived of something as basic as clean water. http://www.charitywater.org
I’m finding that people like Scott are emblematic of a growing evolution within personal values and behavior, today: Redefining success away from self-centeredness, greed and purely personal gain; and towards using your talents to serve the common good. My study of this evolution suggests that it reflects an emerging new definition of psychological health that fits the needs of our post-globalized era.
Climate Change & Green Business, Psychological health in a post-globalized world, Work & Career "4.0"
career dissatisfaction, global citizen, interconnection, psychological health, purpose, social impact, social responsibility
